• Home improvement | Journal Scene
    Home Improvement

    Home improvement | Journal Scene

    The best part of renovating a 1955 brick ranch? One hardly knows where to begin. One could start by smacking oneself in the head with a ball-peen hammer until one faints, thereby being exempt from everything that follows, such as: ripping up ancient shag carpet; ripping out bathrooms that were current when “Pal Joey” was a hit, and ripping off faux-pine paneling GLUED TO brick walls. (The last item involved weeks of applying solvent, using heat guns to soften the glue and chisels to pry it off inch by agonizing inch. We should have just painted the paneling.) By smiting oneself into a blackout, one also avoids calling dozens of…

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