Hi! My name is Zero Suit Samus (or Samus for short), and I’m an energetic pitbull mix who needs some love. And I really mean that. I need a family who will cuddle with me because your penalty for not giving me cuddles is to hear the cry of my people. My foster dad says that based on my crying, I must have descended from pterodactyls, but that’s silly because pterodactyls don’t even like peanut butter. And I looove peanut butter. And treats. And strawberries. And watermelon. And anything, really. Honestly kid, if you give me your salad, I’ll eat it. Don’t want your broccoli? I’ll take care of your problem. See that toy? It’s in my stomach now. See that puke? Well, you can have your toy back.
Like all superdogs, I have an origin story: I ran across the highway and caused a 4-car pileup that I ended up underneath. It wasn’t my best choice, but it’s still a better love story than “Twilight.” I have to take daily medication now, or else I have pretty severe seizures. But I like to think of my epilepsy as my unbridled superpower that the world just isn’t ready for yet.
I’m a Tulsa native, but I’m still not a fan of the Bermuda grass around here – I get allergies in the summer, so that’s something you should know. Despite this, I still love running and rolling in the grass, and if you toss me a ball, I can jump and catch it in mid-air even when it’s 6-feet high. I’m not exaggerating. (Pterodactyl dogs never exaggerate.) And would you mind spraying me with a hose once in a while? I love playing in water, especially when it’s coming out of a tiny hose at jet-like speeds.
But if you have another dog in the home, then forget about it because I’m a single-dog dog. A lone wolf. A rebel. I will not share my toys, I will not share my food, and I will not share my family. I do just fine around other dogs in general, but once you introduce toys or food, then I get very territorial. Can we agree that I’ll be your only one?
By the way, I love kids. I don’t have these problems with other humans, so don’t worry about bringing me home to your young ones. I am loyal to the bone. Don’t believe me? Try going for a jog with me. I will keep pace with you the entire time, just running by your hip. Need me to lick the sweat off your face after an especially hot run? Baby, that’s what I’m about. I’m a good dog. My foster family says so, too. I will take care of you if you let me. I’m eager to learn, I don’t catch coronaviruses, and I’m housebroken. I won’t poop in your Cheerios. Unless that’s one of your commands, but why would it be? Don’t want your Cheerios? Just let me have them instead.
Samus is fully vaccinated, spayed, microchipped and is available for adoption through Compassionate Animal Rescue Efforts.
To inquire, visit carerescueok.org.
Courtesy/CARE